Overcoming adversity through staying single

Students share stories on why they choose to opt out of dating

“MY gosh, did you hear that she’s dating him? I heard that she dumped her ex for the new boy.” For many people, high school presents an opportunity to begin dating in earnest. Most people in high school date but others tend to lean away from it because it can be stressful. Some may have an intimate relationship, which can be both emotional and physical. It’s a terrifying topic, especially for those who are being pressured into dating, which is both draining and exhausting.

When people are pressured they’re scared to stand up for themselves. Students have tried but, it doesn’t always go as planned. They’ve been bullied and put down for their choices. Peer pressure can affect the quality of a relationship.

“My parents have never pressured me, but my friends have before. My friends used to force it on me and pair me up with others when they knew I didn’t want to date.””

— freshman Jaeden Mittenthal

When people decide they want to wait to date until after high school it may be challenging at first. High school aged students deal with raging hormones and different types of feelings every single day. Some find it depressing and hate being alone. It can become very lonely. Most just want a loving touch, a hug or a kiss. They want to know they are not alone and that they have someone who cares about them.

“I’ve been lonely before, seeing my friends date,” freshman Desteny Casanova said. “It’s a recurring thought that comes in mind a lot, for example, it happens when I see my friends and they have a nice, healthy relationship and I want something like that, but I manage to entertain myself with something else, like playing video games.”

Other than loneliness, there are  many other cons in waiting to date. One is seeing a variety of couples in high school. It can convince a person they should date. Dating can be distracting if they put all their focus into that new person in their life.

Many people know that the reason for school is getting an education. Many people find themselves asking why should they date, it’s unimportant. High school is the time for knowledge and learning. Not worrying about the drama that circulates around dating.

“Dating in high school is pointless,” freshman Zavier Mills said. “Most people who date in high school are going to end up breaking up, I don’t see couples in the future getting married because after being with one another for so long they’re going to get tired of each other very quickly. ”

Even though many break up, it’s still the time to try out new things and have new, fun experiences. High school is the time, for some, to find out who they are. People 20 even 50 years from now are still talking about their high school experience, no one wants it to be boring.  Most question themselves then, “Should I date or not?” It’s a very confusing topic and a hard choice to make.

“If I were to be in a relationship I would get distracted easily. Spending so much time with them and talking to them every night would distract me from the more important things in my life, which is school.””

— freshman Desteny Casanova

“I have definitely thought about dating before,” Casanova said. “It’s a recurring thought that I tend to think about from time to  time but I do my best to ignore it because I need to focus on school.”

Because high school is a very serious time for education, some students decide to wait to date.

“I’ve decided that I want to wait until college or after,” Mittenthal said. “College is also an important time to focus on school but I want to try it out then because while I’m in college I’ll have more of a chance to meet people than I would afterwards.”

Even though there are many opinions on dating in high school, most agree that the person should do what they are most comfortable with and no one should give into pressure. Dating is up to them, not their friends, parents, or even a stranger.

“If you aren’t ready to date then don’t, wait until you’re ready,” Mills said. “Ignore those who are pressuring you, distract yourself with something else like school or shutting down that topic, there are many useful tactics that I use, for example standing up for myself and telling the person that I don’t want to date, it’s my choice not theirs.”